"Lord, Make Me More Catholic"
One of my prayers for the past three years has been that God would make me more “Catholic.” After spending the majority of my life as a Protestant I had developed a world view informed by the theology that I came to embrace. Not all of which was wrong mind you, but certainly not complete. Therefore upon returning to the Church, I struggled with certain areas of Catholic devotion, doctrine and practice as my “gnostic” tendencies kicked in. ( I am not saying that all Protestants have these tendencies, I am speaking personally here) I envied devout cradle Catholics who didn’t seem to struggle with their Catholic faith and remained faithful and didn’t leave the Church. I envied Catholics who described Mary with affection and called her "Our Lady" or spoke of her as "Our Blessed Mother." I wanted so much to “be there” right away after entering the Church.
Each journey is different and becoming Catholic is not an instantaneous process. My goal is to get as close to Jesus as possible in this life and with God’s grace get to heaven. I believe the Catholic Church is God's gift to us to facilitate this. As Paul said: “Not as though I has already attained, or were already perfect; but I follow after, if I may by any means apprehend, wherein I am also apprehended by Christ Jesus.”